Mommyhood Chronicles

So the thing about being a Mommy that is the most frustrating to me is that all I want is to take care of this little person so she feels loved and can be her happy little self. The problem is, when God gives you this perfect little human, the manual is not included. I do not like the feeling of not knowing what I'm doing. If I'm doing something new, I want a step by step guide for how it should be done. I guess that's why Grandma's are included- to make sure you can't foul up too badly.
My worst mommy moments started pretty much from the get-go. Breastfeeding was a total bust. I'm sure the excess of hormones flowing didn't help the situation, but when I found out the reason that Rachel was so fussy those first few days was because she was hungry, I literally cried for about a month. Even a couple weeks after we switched to just formula, the thought of my hungry newborn made me tear up. I wanted so badly to provide her with that and it broke my heart that nature wasn't working with me. To add salt to the wound, mine was free and Enfamil is definitely not free. Then there was the bombastic poopy pants that we later determined was a milk allergy, so a soy baby she is. It would be so much easier if there was a manual that said- Congratulations...this is your beautiful baby girl. Don't give her milk. She won't like it.
Anyways, once we got over the 2 month hump, things sailed along pretty smoothly.
Until last week... during bath time. Rachel has recently started to really enjoy her bath. She even knows the routine. First we wash her face, then we soap her up and rinse, followed by the shampoo and rinse. Once the shampoo is rinsed, she gets to sit up and play and splash. It's pretty hilarious because when I start to shampoo her hair she starts doing her little crunches trying to sit up. She's all about the splashing. This particular evening I sat her up and put her little rubber ducky in the water. She's a thinker. She doesn't immediately act on something new, she's got to watch and think about it for a minute. She watched the duck float by...and watched the duck float by...and when it floated close enough she leaned over to see if it was an edible duck. This went on for a few minutes. Since she'd done this the night before, I was armed with my camera and snapped a few pictures. She looks like she's bobbing for apples. If you can't tell- Rachel's not the only one that gets a kick out of bath time. All of sudden, she lunged for the duck with both hands and despite the fact I had my hand on her at all times, her slippery little body got away from me and under she went. It was for just a split second...I scooped her out immediately but she'd had enough chance to swallow some water and get it up her already stuffed nose. To say that I felt bad is an understatement. She cried and I did my best to soothe her. So not only have I tried to starve my child, but now I've tried to drown her too. After she calmed down a bit, she then was talking to me in a tone that seriously sounded like she was yelling at me. She still loves bath time. And she still likes to splash- I'm considering a rain poncho for me at bath time. But now, when the ducky goes floating by, rather than try to eat it, she splashes it and tries to swat it...as if to get it back for getting water up her nose and to say "how do you like it, Ducky?"
There is no manual to parenthood. So I'll just keep muddling on through!